Nsala Soup for the Nigerian Soul
Is Nigeria after your life? Would you like to survive?
If ‘yes’ — feel free to say no, na you know — here are 7 quotes to live by, that’ll ensure this country never takes you alive.
Made for Nigerians by Nigerians, welcome to a digital gospel reading. This soup of quotes will soothe your heart and sharpen your mind.
1. “Those who learn to flatten themselves will survive being rolled over. Those who stand will break.” — Eghosa Imasuen (Brittle Paper’s Fiction Masterclass, 2023)
Sometimes the best way to address an unfair force is to first remove yourself from its path.
2. “If they explain Nigeria to you and you understand, they didn’t explain it properly.” — Keto, (earliest found poster — Twitter — not owner)
Stop trying to find a rational explanation for an irrational reality, because if you are a right thinking member of society, there isn’t one.
3. “Nigerians will always Nigeria.” — Author
Your country-people are a product of their irrational environment. When they ‘display’, don’t try to understand — you can’t. Just ignore them.
4. “Every day is for the thief but one day is for the owner.” — Yoruba Adage (See: Teju Cole, 2011)
Vindication will come, but you might miss it if you relax too much — you get ‘one day’ after all.
5. “Something that has no roots and springs up with leaves and branches everywhere is bound to crash from the weight” — Elnathan John (Born on Tuesday)
Elnathan did not intend it, but this is your reminder to stay away from Ponzi Schemes. In this stupid economy, they will surely return. Don’t do it. Not even to ‘get out’ early. Do not have a stake in things destined to crash and wound others or yourself.
6. “The world is full of surprises that remind us never to be surprised.” — Author
Expect the truly unexpected. Yes, they will go that far. No, they don’t care about the consequences, this is Nigeria after all.
7. “I often make the mistake of thinking that something that is obvious to me is just as obvious to everyone else.” — Chimamanda Adichie (We Should All be Feminists)
Clarify, or you will waste the time you should be spending on visa applications explaining ‘red’ to a blind person. And in Nigeria, the blind will confidently argue colour shades with you.
If you know any especially Nigerian quotes, help us help ourselves by commenting them. If you don’t, I hope you found something worth looking for here.
Yours in indefatigable suffering,
Esohe
